For change to be possible we must understand each other.

Personal Thoughts from Seguin Program Participants

Two articles written by Dan Garringer

Psychology Research Looks Incomplete

The psychology of disabled people seems to be an overlooked area. This has been overlooked mainly because non-disabled people tend to concentrate on the physical aspect of the disabled rather than the psychological aspect that can make the difference between a well-adjusted person and a maladjusted person.

Some research has been done on the psychology of disabled people. Although this research was conducted during the 1940s and 1950s, the research findings are valid today. These findings focus on the physically disabled, yet also apply to the mentally challenged.

Researchers have studied the acceptance of disabled people. For some reason, their results were considered surprising. According to a study in 1931 by Ray, most folks liked "crippled" people. Of course during the '20s and '30s disabled people were not seen in society as they are today. If society does accept disabled people, why is there still a huge accessibility problem? For example, while many bathrooms are accessible, many are not. Therefore, while it is nice to know people like you, it is better to know you are able to take care of your basic needs of daily life! Coping was studied by Wright. A person who is disabled cannot be taught to cope. They must learn to cope with their own life by themselves.

This is vital to remember and so easy to forget. Non-disabled people always seem to know how we, disabled people, should deal with our problems. However when they try to "teach" us how to cope, they might be adding to our problems.

One woman in Wright's study stated that disabled people should be respected because of the way they cope with their problems. While this viewpoint may be true, it is patronizing. Disabled people must cope with their problems or stay home!

Many times disabled people, must use devices such as wheelchairs or braces. While these devices are quite helpful to the disabled person, they may look unsightly to the non-disabled person. This is where psychology is key. The disabled person must use 'unsightly" devices just to cope. They must ignore the constant innuendoes of the non-disabled people. It is easy to deal with disabled people if they are not too disabled. However somebody who is quite disabled is a different matter.

Eating in public is a prime example. While it may seem quite unsightly to see somebody making a mess feeding himself, it is ten times more disturbing for the disabled person to feed himself solely because it is "unsightly." Most disabled people love to help themselves in spite of their appearance!

How people perceive their own disability can make or break them. Most non-disabled people can talk about how awful it seems to be disabled and might put people with disabilities down unconsciously. Nevertheless, all people have the right to be respected for who they really are and not for bodily condition!

When Good Intentions Go Too Far

Here at Seguin, there are many funny places. Among the funniest are the lobby, elevator, and bathroom. People make these places so funny.

We must remember that Seguin is always hiring people. We must also remember that these people mean to do well! However, in their valiant attempt in doing so well, they tend to be overly protective. This is especially true when the new staff member encounters someone as devious as I am.

Take the elevator incident for example; I always do. I got on the elevator with a new employee who believed I did not belong on the elevator without help. This is a classic reaction! I'm sure a lot of people thought I did not belong on the elevator, but none of them were as alarmed as she was. A few days later I thought of a great response, 'Gee lady, I would take the stairs, but it is hard on my wheelchair.'

The lobby is a funny place too. Especially in the winter. Did you know that I have difficulty putting on my winter coat? Oh, I am perfectly able to put my own coat on. The problem is some new staff are blinded by my wheelchair. They automatically assume that people in wheelchairs need their help. Therefore, they help me put on my coat without asking for my okay. Bathrooms are also funny places. New staff members, the bathroom, and I just do not mix. The new people are quite sure they know how I should go to the bathroom. Moreover, if I do something in a different manner, they interrupt to teach me their way. I have no problem with learning new things, however there are certain circumstances where "on the job training" is untimely.

I am trying to decide whether these funny stories about Seguin could be avoided if I worked elsewhere. I doubt it, because much of the same things happen everywhere I go. As a matter of fact, the more these funny things happen at Seguin, the easier it is for me to cope with them when they happen in the community.

A Message From Seguin Participant, Glenora Mills

Hi,

I am Glenora Sue Mills. I live in Cicero. I am 52 years old. I have been handicapped since I was 18 years old. I've been in a wheelchair for 18 years. My speech and balance is off because of two car and one bus accident. But I want to let you know how I feel.

You know people at times try to downgrade you. 'Tis a feeling of emptiness. A feeling of a new, fine, well-built car, but its body stops working in its normal way.

Being handicapped makes you worry and think - Can I do it? At times I feel empty. I begin to feel useless. When I see others cook, I wish I could cook. If they play basketball or baseball and golf or bowl or tennis or volleyball or badminton, I want to also, but it hurts deep down when you are stuck in a wheelchair for life. It is not a pleasant thing to be in a wheelchair. Also some people baby you or think you are retarded. There are many things I like to do!

A lot of people try to overlook your presence. I don't have a lot of friends because I'm wheelchair bound. They hear you are wheelchair bound and they make up a story to leave you and you know why--being in the wheelchair stinks! Like going to the washroom. People ask 'Need help?" No thanks, I can do it on my own. So they follow you anyway and it irks me.

Now the weather. Snow. Sure I can't shovel, or can I? I can't sweep, mop or climb, or can I? Let me give you all some suggestions:

• Let people know how you feel. Tell them "I know how to do it, but if I need help, I'll ask for your help. Thanks for your concern."
• Yes, I am handicapped, but I do try to do it myself.
• Please, don't call me a baby. I am a human. Thank you.
• How can you climb, play games, cook or play basketball? You tried it. You said, "Yes, I can!" Try things. If you need help, ask. A lot of people need help and they are not handicapped.
• Never give up.
• Don't ever say you "can't!"

Remember, "Fight! Fight!!?" What do you mean you say? Ah, to fight is to keep yourself fit, to keep up the good work you do. And keep trying harder. Don't let people put you down. Keep up a firm stand. Be yourself. You have a mind that is full of good intentions. A mind of doing and of being able to do it yourself. Your mind plays an important part in your system. A mind helps you to remember, but also to forget.

I work at the Museum of Science and Industry and first thing I told them is 'I am not a baby. I am a human being, not a child. Please treat me as a 52-year-old human. I'm human. So please, please don't treat me as anything other than a human being. The visitors look down at me so I say, "May I help you?" I give them some suggestions on how to cope with it. If people downgrade me and call me a baby, I just look at them and say, "Oh, is there a baby around me? Where?" Or, "Excuse me. Ah, I see a human. What do you see?"

Yes our life is not a comfortable life, but our life can be pleasant if we follow the suggestions given and remember:

• Never say I can't.
• Exercise.
• Never give up.
• Keep your mind on: There are things you can do. Never say, "I can't." Put in continuously "I can and I will."

See, just because we have handicaps 'tis no reason for us to give up. We must continue. So you fell off your horse, get on it again. Don't have fear in ya. Be big and brave! I write. I love to write. I exercise my limbs and mind. I don't downgrade myself, nor do I let other people put me down. My motto is: Fight for a goal. Do it! And hang on.